Grandmother and granddaughter were in the clinic. Unbutton your clothes," the doctor said to the beautiful girl. No, doctor," the old lady said, "I am the patient." Is that so? Then stick out your tongue.

A drunk man hailed a police car on his way home after drinking and shouted: Even if you charge one yuan per kilometer, there's no need to write such a big number!

A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, drawing a crowd. A passerby asked: What happened? The drunk replied: I don't know, I just arrived myself.

Wasting time with short messages is called "text life"; sending and receiving messages is called "text interaction"; sending and receiving wildly is called "text climax"; receiving only and not sending is called "text coldness"; sending to the wrong person is called "text harassment"; failed sending or receiving is called "text dysfunction."

A madman was lying in bed singing. As he sang, he turned over and continued singing. The doctor asked him: You can sing, why do you turn over? The madman said: Fool, after finishing side A, you have to play side B!

People marry because of lack of judgment; they divorce because of lack of patience; and they remarry because of lack of memory.

There was a boy in the class who was well-known for being feminine. One day in an art class, the teacher asked them to make clay figures. He cried out: I want to make a male! His deskmate added: Oh, you finally figured it out.

Your face is more beautiful than Chen Shimei's, your eyes are brighter than Zhuge Liang's; my love is deeper than Lu Zhishen's, my feelings are longer than Guan Yu's, but my promise is emptier than Sun Wukong's.

Going home: fill your stomach, pay the bills, kiss your wife, and play with your child; going out: check your mirror, date a girl, use your brain, and act like a servant.

The colorful world, colorful heart, men's flowers deceive hearts, once their goal is achieved, they change their hearts. To avoid further sorrow, give up on men completely!

The teacher said: Find two people, I want the class beauty. So they voted to select the two most beautiful girls. After a whole class, the teacher said: Go to the office and bring the flowers!

First love is a new version; rekindling old flames is a revised version; cohabitation before marriage is a trial version; the wedding night is the original version; keeping a mistress is a collectible version; falling for a widow is an updated version; seducing someone else's wife is a pirated version.

You rush into a certain unit angrily and shout: Is this the Animal Protection Association? The staff replied: Yes, who hurt you?

Bajie met the God of Love and asked: Wow! God of Love! Why did you separate me from Gao Jiayulan? The God of Love said: She is human, you are a demon, I fear your child might be a half-human, half-demon.

Toilet couplet: Top: Standing on both sides of the Yellow River, holding secret documents. Bottom: Front is machine gun fire, back is continuous artillery fire. Horizontal scroll: It feels great.

Modern people's lifestyle: going to work today, sleeping yesterday, spending tomorrow's money.

Cucumber cried after a breakup. Eggplant comforted her: Love is not only sweet and intoxicating, but also broken-hearted and tearful. Oh! Who made you fall for onion?

Beauty upon beauty, how many beauties are there? If you treat beauties well, you won't be able to find a wife.

Rice cake had a fight with baozi and lost. Not wanting to accept defeat, he walked on the street and met a shao mai. Without hesitation, he attacked. Shao mai immediately took off his outer garment and said angrily: Actually, I'm an undercover agent!

Freshman year: the rabbit doesn't eat grass by the bed; sophomore year: a good horse doesn't eat grass again; junior year: where there are no fragrant grasses in the world; senior year: strong wind reveals sturdy grass.

Beyond green hills, beyond tall buildings, you ignore me, I don't worry; there are beautiful women everywhere, and they will always take care of me.